This sermon was preached on Sunday 6th September 2026 at St Peter and St Andrew Corby on my first Sunday back from Paternity Leave.

Bible Reading: Romans 13:8-end

It’s so good to be back in church. I’ve enjoyed paternity leave and time with Cecily and Zara, but I’ve missed you all, and I’m glad to be back with you. I’m glad to be back with our church family. However, it has been really helpful to have some focussed family time together, especially as I’ve been perfecting my nappy technique to ensure there are no leaks.

It’s been such a joy to become parents, but as you can imagine, as new parents, we are going through the newborn trenches of figuring out how to look after a baby. We had done loads of reading, learning and preparing for the birth, but now that the birth has been and gone, we are now at the stage of going, ‘so, what do we do now?’ 

We had this feeling straight away after the birth. Zara was born at home just before 5am, and the midwives were gone just after 7pm. As soon as they left, Cecily and I turned and looked at each other and said, ‘So, now what do we do?’ They say being a parent is the biggest job in their world, yet somehow it comes with no formal training or instructions. You can’t just check the workplace handbook to make sure that you are doing it right. So, what were we to do now?

My answer, of course, was to go and get some breakfast, so I headed off to put on some toast with some Apricot jam. Then after breakfast, we got washed up, and then went and had a well-earned nap.

So that was day one. Then what’s next? Well, you figure it out as you go along. It’s normal, however, in all of this time as new parents to be second-guessing yourself. Did we feed Zara properly? Is the nappy on properly? Did we get everything we need in the day bag, and so on? It’s normal to ask all these questions as you want to get it right and be good parents to your child.

Unfortunately, there is no straightforward right or wrong way to be a parent. Each child is different, and their needs will vary from child to child. So, how do you know you are doing the right thing?

The conclusion I have come to as a new dad is to love Zara as best as I can. If I do that, then I am not going to go far wrong. It’s what Paul says in his letter to the Romans. He said that ‘If you love others, you will never do them wrong; to love, then, is to obey the whole Law.’[1]

Now, this doesn’t mean that, as a dad loving his child, I am going to get everything right. In fact, there will be many times when I get things wrong as a dad in my attempt to love Zara. But when we love others with God’s perfect love, when I love Zara in the same way that our heavenly Father loves us, then I will not do anything wrong to Zara, because Christlike love is only good. Or if I have done something wrong or made a mistake as a dad, loving Zara with Christlike love means loving with a love that seeks to redeem and restore what is broken. It’s the same love that Jesus shared on the cross as he died to save and heal our broken world.

If I want to be a good parent and be a good dad, then the one thing I need to do is love Zara like our heavenly Father loves us. Because a love like that is only good and will seek only the best for Zara. God loves us so much and wants the best for us, so if I want to be the best dad I can be to Zara, I need to love her as God loves her. Everything flows from this act of love.

As a dad, if I love Zara in this way, then I know I will seek to do only good for her, and if I fail, I will do whatever I can to make things right, because that is what Christlike love does.

So how do I know if I am being a good dad? Does what I am doing look like Christlike love for Zara? If I do that, then everything will be alright. For Christlike love for Zara will want to ensure she is fed, cared for, and protected. It’s love that will pursue play, learning, fun, growth and adventure. If I love Zara, I will be a good parent to her.

Now I have said a lot about how I am trying to figure out how to be a good dad. I recognise that this is not the question that everyone here is asking, but I imagine all of us are asking how we are to be a Christian, and specifically, how to be a good Christian.

Like being a parent, being a Christian is a difficult thing to figure out. In some ways it feels overly simple. Christians should be like Christ. It’s in the name, after all. But we all know that, in practice, simply trying to be more Jesus-y doesn’t always work. We have the Bible, which is filled with God’s teaching and words to us.

Unfortunately, the Bible isn’t written as a step-by-step guide on how to be a Christian. If it were, everything would be so much easier. But the Bible isn’t an instruction manual or a guide for dummies. It’s a library of different kinds of writings, including history, law, poetry, prophecy, letters, and apocalyptic writing. As a result, we are left to sift through everything to figure out what the Bible is saying about being a Christian. It’s what the church has been doing for its entire 2000-year history, and we are still nowhere near understanding everything about what it means to be a Christian.  

So how do we know if we are doing everything that God asked of us in the Bible? Well, Jesus said that all of the law and the prophets, which is another way of saying that all of the Bible, is fulfilled and summed up in one command: to love one another.[2] This is what Paul is talking about in his letter to the Romans.

He says, ‘The commandments…all these, and any others besides, are summed up in the one command, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” If you love others, you will never do them wrong; to love, then, is to obey the whole Law.’[3]

If we love one another, then we do everything that the Bible tells us about being a Christian. God is good, and God is love, so if we love others as God has loved us, then we are being like God; we are being a Christian, and good at it. You see, love is the foundation of who God is, so if we love others as the foundation of our Christian life, then we are doing it; we are being Christians. We are being like Jesus because we are taking part in the most central characteristic of Jesus: love. 

As I said about being a parent, I know that if I love Zara, then I will be a good parent to her. It doesn’t mean that I will be a perfect parent; I’m only human, after all. But if I love her and pursue loving her above everything else, then I will do good for her and not harm her.

In the same way, to be a Christian, we must make loving one another our first priority, because when we do, we are being Christlike, for Jesus’ central characteristic is that he loves others. That is how to be a Christian, and to be a good Christian, if we can use the term. That is how we follow Jesus; that is how we follow what God says to us in the Bible. It is all summed up in our call to love others, and everything else about being a Christian flows from this foundation of love.

This week, as I continue to work out each day how to be a parent to Zara, I am going to seek to love her, because I know that when I do so, I will be a good father to her. In the same way, this week, as we continue to work out what it means to be a Christian, let’s seek to love God and love others, for when we live in Christlike love, we are being like Jesus Christ. We are Christians by loving others. If we do not love, we are not being like Christ, and we are not Christians. But when we love, we are walking in step with the God who is love.  

The key to being a dad is to love my child. The key to being a Christian is to love God and love others. ‘Go and do likewise.’[4]

Amen.

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[1] Romans 13:10 [GNB].

[2] Matthew 22:37-40.

[3] Romans 13:9-10 [GNB].

[4] Luke 10:37 [NIV].